I have "issues" {who doesn't?}

SO, this post started in my head today while running mid-day during nap time. Something I never do, but I didn't get my lazy butt out of bed this morning like every morning the past several days {months}.

I was about three quarters of a mile into my run, the point where the stiffness subsides, your breathing is regulated, and you stop thinking that running in 90,000 degree weather during mid-day in FL was the dumbest idea you've ever had, and it hit me that I hadn't blogged in forever either.

School starting is my biggest excuse.  Juggling everything at the beginning of the year is always difficult and this year there have been several big changes and I have taken on more responsibilities than I have in the past. My second biggest excuse is my running buddy from last year and I "broke up". It was both of our faults, but it didn't end well.  But yeah, excuses nonetheless.

The same excuses that have led me to the point in running that I'm at now.  The point where I'm wondering how the heck I managed to run a minimum of 40 miles a month WHILE exclusively pumping and why I can't seem to get out of bed a full hour later to accomplish a morning run.

I do the all the tricks - I have clothes set out ready to go, I set multiple alarms, I have my running bag ready to grab, my shoes are easy to find (unless a certain 3 year old makes off with them to go running herself).

I just don't get up! 

I silence the alarms and will wake up enough to silently berate myself as I set the alarm I need to wake up to shower.

How pathetic is that?!

I've said before that running was my saving grace last year to help me combat my post-partum anxiety.  I was able to be drug free until I weaned. I wasn't perfect. Meds certainly would have helped in many instances, but I made it.

And I made it because I ran. A lot.

And now, I'm not making it. Too often, I'm having to pop my little chill pills to relax. To not have a panic attack while grading papers.

And I've been cutting out that one thing that naturally helps me make it. The one thing that saves me from my body issues.

So here's to running.  The one thing that saves me from my mind & keeps me sane.

Any other mamas out there with PPD or anxiety issues? How do you deal???