Running for life - mine and theirs

Role models.

Those words have been running through my head a lot lately and have popped up in different ways through conversations I've had with separate people. A role model is a person whose behavior, example, or success is or can be emulated by others, especially by younger people.  

Be honest, when you read the words "role model" who do you think of? Do you think of a famous person? Someone you are trying to be like who has some level of notoriety? I think most of us are guilty of that.  I know as a teacher, I'm ashamed to admit, I've given examples of, and even encouraged, famous people as role models for my students.  While I'm not saying that these people can't be role models, have you ever stopped to think about accessible role models?  I mean people in your everyday life who you look at and say, "Wow! They are amazing. I want to be like that...". I think these people are the unsung heroes of our lives - the people who truly make the most impact on who we are and what we do. 

Along those same lines, I want to make a positive impact on my girls.  Girls have it TOUGH.  We are judged by our actions, our successes, our bodies, our choices - the list goes on - from nearly the moment we enter puberty, if not earlier.  Most girls these days have low self-esteem and poor body image.  I count myself as one of these.  Poor body image is something I have dealt with my whole life. Despite being fairly thin, I have always looked at myself and those numbers on the scale with anxiety.  I have battled with some form of disordered eating from about 13 and onward. It has never overly extreme, but it is always there.  I battle, daily, the thoughts and actions that come with disordered eating. There are several triggers that led to me struggling with food and body image. I often find myself saying, "I'm having a 'fat day'" or being upset when something doesn't fit the way it is supposed to. 

But I want to break that cycle.

The title of this post is running for life - mine and theirs.  This has so much meaning to me.  Running is something that, somehow, ingrains itself into your very bones. You become addicted to it; how it makes you feel, the gear, the times, the miles, the races. But, I'm running for my life because I want my life to be healthy. I want to replace my disordered eating with something that is healthy for me. I want to combat my low self-esteem with something that makes me feel good about something I have accomplished (because no one can run those miles but me). But in turn, that makes me running for my girls as well. By combating low self-esteem and disordered eating, they will see me make healthier choices consistently. They will grow up in a house where healthy fitness matters. I NEVER want my girls to hear me saying, "I look fat in this" or "I'll get fat if I eat this". I want them to see me have self-confidence. I want my girls to see that you can take charge of your fitness and life and find the value in that. I hope that they will love running as well so that it will be something I can share with them. So I can connect with them, not just with words or hugs, but also with what occurs when you lace on your shoes and step out on to the road; that runner's camaraderie.

I'm already seeing the fruits of my labor. My oldest, R, has been "running" with me since she was a month old. I would push her in the jogging stroller while she slept. Now that she's a little older, she chatters to me about everything on our runs while she relaxes in the stroller. She requests to wear her running "alphabet" (outfit) and her "running shoes" when we go out together. When she sees my running buddy, her Godmother, Ali, she asks if we are going running. If she sees me hot and sweaty, she automatically infers that I've been out to run. If she sees me dressed in my running clothes, she'll ask about it. She likes to borrow my gear and play that she's going running. She loves to run fast and to race me. Sometimes she throws a fit when I'm heading out to run because she wants to spend that time with me. The baby, A, has only been out once or twice, but right now it's difficult to fit in a run when it's just me and the girls while she is so little.  I know, however, that very soon I'll be pushing the double jogger with both of them. I know that A will do what R does now because I am showing through example that running and health - true health - is important.

So this is how I will be a role model for my girls. I don't need to do anything over the top. I don't need to win medals or become famous. 

I simply need to lace up my shoes and go.

"Runner-y"

Runner-y /ˈrənərē/ (adjective): characterized by doing or buying something that relates to running.

Let's admit it.  Being a runner is a mindset.  Oftentimes, people say that the word runner is synonymous with jogger. But frankly, if someone called me a jogger, I'd be offended. In the past, I've told people not to sell themselves short when they've called themselves joggers.  Runners are people who factor running into their lives.  It may not be daily, but they make a concentrated effort to run.  Joggers are people who go out once a month, semester, year - there's no effort to make it a lifestyle. 

But it's not only about the frequency, it's also about how you support and think about this habit. I think it can be as simple as buying a new sports bra or new running shoes, putting a new song on your running playlist to motivate you, setting a goal and sticking to it, being anxious to get through something so you can get to your run, or adding distance to your planned run just because it felt right in the moment.  It can be as complicated changing your diet so you feel stronger on your runs or changing your daily routine so you can fit a run in, even if it means waking up at 4 am. Or as emotional as "feeling" the race (with sweaty palms and an elevated heart rate) while watching Track & Field in the Olympics or having a pregnancy hormone induced argument with your husband over which running stroller to purchase (guilty). And then, in turn, doing these things motivates you to do more, to run more.  A vicious cycle.

This all brings me to runner-y. Yes, it's a made up word, but I think it's an important word to have.  I think the things I listed above could be characterized as runner-y things.  Things you do, say, think about, purchase to support this wonderful habit. As I've been getting back into running after taking a pregnancy hiatus, I've been slowly adding these kinds of things into my daily routine. While doing something particularly "runner-y" today, the "word" popped into my head and lead me to list of some of the things I've been doing lately, like:

-Getting up a 3.30 am to feed a hungry baby, pump, and then head out for a run.
-Texting my running buddy, Ali, at 4.30 am to back out on our planned run because hungry baby is not cooperating and has decided she wants a 5 course gourmet meal instead of a midnight snack.
-Emailing my principal three weeks post-partum to determine what school hours will be so that I can figure out exactly what time I need to get up to fit in a morning run once maternity leave will be over (school hadn't even started yet)
-Goal setting for the next few months.
-Purchasing a double jogging stroller so I can run with both my toddler and infant during basketball season.
-Evaluating my running shoes to see if they'll last me or if I need to buy a new pair.
-Being envious of Ali's new gear, times, distance, strength (you go girl!)
-Writing about running

(It's hardcore "runner-y" of me to do morning workouts.  I am NOT a morning person.)

And today's "runner-y" thing: Buying electrolyte effervescent tabs to put into my water so that I'm not just flushing all the good stuff out of my system with the amount of water I'm drinking to keep up both my milk supply and to be well hydrated. (I think this takes the cake as the most runner-y thing I've done, although that pregnancy hormone induced argument with my husband is a close second.)

[Let me tell you they taste nasty - They are just like that "Airborne" stuff which somehow always encourages my gag reflex to jump into overdrive - but I'm doing it anyway because I'm hardcore like that.]

As I said, it's a mindset.  I find myself doing those things because it's intrinsically important to me to run. And to be a runner. 

What runner-y things do you do?

Goals: Races, Distances, and Times

Part of making a success of the challenge I have created for myself is to set goals, both short and long term, so that I see the progress and have something to continually strive for.  I figure this is a 3-fold process.  I need goals for my daily runs and what they will look like and how they will change as I add distance, goals for what races I'd like my racing season to include, and goals for times.

Training Runs
Goal #1: Run 4-5 times a week
Goal #2: From now until October 1st is to increase my mileage by a 1/2 mile each week until I reach 6 miles.  My hubby says this goal is a little over-ambitious, but I feel like if I run 4-5 training runs a week, an increase by a half mile shouldn't be too painful.  I know that the beginning-of-the-week runs will be slower and more painful, but I should be fine by the end of the week.
Goal #3: After reaching 6 mile regular training runs, include speed work once a week.
Goal #4: After reaching 6 miles regular training runs, Include one long run a week.

Times
Goal #1: Once I am consistently at 6 miles for my training runs, I want to see myself running at a 7:15 pace for the 6 miles.
Goal #2: 20 minute 5k
Goal #3: 1:30 half marathon

Races
The following are the races that Ali and I will most likely do this year (thanks to Ali compiling the list):
September 1: Legacy 5k
October 6: Lexington Cares 5k
October 13: 10k Race for F.I.S.H
October 27: Race the Roof 8k
November 18: Women's Half Marathon
December 15: Frosty 5k
February 10: Rock 'N Roll Half Marathon

There needs to be another race early or late Dec and mid-late Jan, but I'm liking this race schedule so far.  It should be a nice running schedule.  I might add on Hooters to Hooters half which is in March or April as well.

 I'd also like to add one more goal of strength training.

So this is it.  Here are my goals - written in "stone".

Wish me good luck!  I'm going to need it and the accountability.

Competitive Running - My version

Earlier I posted about how prior to becoming pregnant with AE, I had decided I wanted to test out my ability to become a competitive runner. I used to be, like many middle school and high school athletes, a "competitive" runner.  I was good enough to frequently have my results published in our local area paper and to be mentioned in a blurb about a meet. I was good enough that I frequently medaled or placed well in races. I was good enough to be recruited by NCAA 2 and 3 schools for my running. (I can't list running in college here because of an injury that side-lined me for several years.)

So you might find yourself asking, why do I put the word 'competitive' in quotations above or why do I want to test my ability when clearly it appears that I was tested and I was competitive. 

Answer: I wasn't.

Despite all of my previous accomplishments in the sport, I wasn't really competitive.  I had talent. I can run. My body is made for and responds well to the sport of long distance running.  But having talent - the ability to do something - is totally different than wanting to do it well.  I simply ran because it was easy for me. I didn't have to overly challenge myself to have success. I ran because it was fun to hang out with the girls and the fact that I was decent at it was an added bonus.  I have a competitive nature, so it was easy to challenge myself during a race, but I never challenged myself during a practice.  I chatted through every run - it was social hour at 6 am for me - while I should have been running with the boys. My dad used to tell me that I was uncoachable.  Meaning that I didn't listen to the advice of my coaches or my dad, that I didn't put in 100% of my effort in practice or even in my races. I was good enough without trying and that was good enough for me.

Of course, I was merely a typical teenager and hindsight is 20/20, but I now feel like I wasted those years.  I wish I attempted to challenge myself then. If with putting in the bare minimum, I was able to do ok, how would I have been if I had put in a concentrated effort? Now I regret not trying to run with the boys, with making it a social event, with not putting in extra time on the road/track.

I regret not trying.
Which brings me to last year and my decision to try. Last summer, I started upping my mileage to running on average 4-4.5 miles per run with respectable times. I took the month of August off because the first month of school is exhausting and I was trying to find time and energy to get on the road again. After a successful summer of running, I thought a break of a few weeks wouldn't be too bad.  Then I found out I was pregnant and it was put on hold. And while running while pregnant is a totally different post, I have been itching for 10 months to get out there again. It's been frustrating to set a goal, to have a vision, to make up for years of wasted potential, to only have no control over at least trying to make it happen.

Somone might say, "Well, it was only a few months. You'll be back at it."  But that's the thing, and maybe it's the fact that I'm turning 30 this year, but a few months seem like an eon. And now I'm starting COMPLETELY over. Further behind than I was last summer. Weighing more than I did last summer. I have no legs, no cardio, and other issues that I'm dealing with.  Yes, I can overcome these things and I will, but it's been frustrating to sit on the sidelines and see others improving when I can do nothing. It's frustrating to start over. Again.

I realize the only way to overcome them is to get out there and do something about it, which I am.  If you notice my dailymile ticker, I've been fairly consistent in getting a run in almost every other day the last 2 weeks. I have plans, once I can run 4 miles again, to join up with a local running group to help motivate me in my next step to reaching my potential.

So my ultimate goal here? To see what I can do if I put an effort into my running.  What will I be able to do if I don't allow it to be just a social event and rather train, put the miles on the road, and compete with a full bag of tricks and not just on ability.

It comes down to being able to answer the question: Can I be competitive locally?

I think to do otherwise will waste the God-given talent I was once given and hopefully still have and I don't want to live with regret.

Motivations for returning to the blogging world

Wow!  This blog has been out of commission since, well, the birth of my first child.  Now I have two little ones!  My excuses are both good and bad: babies (good), too little time (thanks FB, pinterest, etsy), school (how can I manage my working life better?).  Regardless of the time away, the blog has been calling to me again recently as I've had some realizations and have encountered some things that really need for me to have a writing outlet. While I'll mention a couple today, they all really deserve their own posts.  They are huge topics that deserve to be fleshed out individually - not lumped together into one, "I'm back!" post.

For starters, last year, prior to becoming pregnant with baby number 2, AE, I had the realization that I really wanted to test out my ability to become a competitive runner.  Now running has basically always been in my life - an old friend that I have always been able to call on to be there, in some manner, when I needed it to be.  I used to be competitive in junior high and high school (and I was decent. I was recruited by a couple NCAA 2 and 3 schools), but I didn't take it seriously then.  I did it more for the social aspect and never realized my true potential because I mentally wasn't in it. Then, as I said, last year struck and told me that if I ever wanted to test myself, this was the time.  That I'm not getting younger and if I want to see if I can make a mark, then I need to do it now.  I started amping up my mileage last summer, took a break in August for the start of school to promptly find out that I was pregnant with AE. In a nutshell, training competitively was on the back burner until now. There's a lot more to this story and thought process and to be honest, it will be a long work in progress.

The second motivator came through the cause/site, Every Mother Counts. As a woman, I am deeply passionate about women's rights issues, specifically when it comes to reproductive rights and care. I have been feeling helpless listening to the news lately on how women are treated like second-rate citizens here in the US, how men are legislating everything we do with our bodies, and how little support pregnant women and women with children have here in the US. I have found hope in Every Mother Counts. It is an organization that was started by Christy Turlington Burns (the former model) to help bring awareness of inequality of women's reproductive rights both here in the US and internationally. They are a grassroots effort at this point, slowly developing into, what I predict, a force to be reckoned with in bringing about a change both in the business world and politics. There are many other groups out there trying to do the same, but what makes me turn to EMC is that they are also passionate runners. For fundraising and publicity, they ran the 2011 NYC marathon sporting their logos.  In fact, running has been a central theme in bringing awareness to their cause. What better combination could I find?  A group that's passionate about running AND maternal health and rights? Sign me up!

So this is it - a couple of my motivators right now that are inspiring me to get back into writing about my running.

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Something to Lose

Jayme Otto

How three ordinary women became runner s and lost nearly 300 pounds.
Jen Arruda sat beside her newborn son watching him struggle to breathe. She visited him in the neonatal intensive care unit every day, all day. Born six weeks premature, Zakary had taken only a handful of normal breaths before his underdeveloped lungs had  collapsed. He had stopped breathing once earlier that day, twice the night before. Arruda obsessed over one thought—I did this to him.

I weighed 260 pounds when I was pregnant with Zak,” she explains. “I was sick, miserable and depressed. Once I hit about six months, every time I so much as got up and walked, I’d go into labor.

Arruda blamed her weight. The 34-year-old had suffered from thyroid issues since childhood, taking medication since the age of nine. This made gaining weight a cinch, but shedding pounds a challenge. With each of her previous two pregnancies, pounds had piled on that never came off. By the time she carried Zakary, she was heavier than she’d ever been, and only got heavier as her pregnancy progressed.
Ready to Change
“I realized how valuable and precious life is when I was sitting there with Zak—how I could have lost him,” she says. “I’d been such a sad, sad person the last 11 years, and I shouldn’t have been with three beautiful children. I realized I was wasting time—not being a happy mom, not being able to play with my children. I was just so ready to change.”
Arruda vowed that if Zakary came home healthy, she’d change her life. She consulted her doctor and an endocrinologist who advised her that because her metabolism was so sluggish, she would need to double what other people do to lose weight.
Arruda was undaunted. Once Zak was home, she joined a women-only gym where she walked on a treadmill for two hours every morning and one hour at night. She read books on how to eat healthy and based her diet on lean protein, veggies and whole grains. As she started losing weight, a friend advised her to run.

I thought there was no way I’d ever be able to run,” says Arruda, but she wanted to at least try.

Her first run lasted 10 seconds. She built up to a minute, running for one, walking for five, repeating this for her entire workout. Arruda remembers being so sore that she went to the doctor, concerned with the swelling in her shins. But the pounds kept coming off, and her muscles got stronger. The pain began to fade.
Two months later, Arruda jogged her first 5k. The next year, she completed a half marathon, two years after that, she ran Boston. After a 130-pound weight loss, Arruda pursued her personal training certification, landing a job at the gym where she started. Today, four years later, she runs six days a week, eight to 10 miles per day, and hits the gym three times a week for strength training.
Arruda recognizes her results are extraordinary. “I was crazy,” she admits, referring to the earlier fervor with which she approached her weight loss goals. “But I had a lot of guilt, and I was desperate to change.”
The key to Arruda’s success was her acceptance that eating healthy and exercising were a lifelong commitment, not a short-term fix, according to Rebecca Scritchfield, a sports dietician in Washington D.C., and member of the Sports Nutrition faculty at both American University and George Washington University. Arruda also puts herself first, which is unusual for women, particularly mothers.

If we really want to care for our children, our spouses, our friends and family, we need to put ourselves first,” says Scritchfield. “Only then will we have the energy and spirit to be at our best.”

Putting yourself first requires support. Arruda’s husband Jeff stayed home with their three children when she went to the gym in the evening. In the morning, she’d see the kids off to school and her mother-in-law would watch Zak during her workouts. Arruda recognized that while her new lifestyle required her to be absent from her family at times, in the long term, it made her more present as a mother, spouse and daughter.

When you can ask for help, or even just tell people what you’re doing, you get that verbal support that reinforces that yes, you can do this,” Scritchfield says.

A Lifelong Commitment
Before a woman accepts her health as a lifelong commitment, before she enlists the support of her friends and family, how do the wheels get put in motion for lasting change?
“A catalyst,” says Scritchfield. “A woman has to be moved beyond whim into physical action.” Arruda’s initiator was a very dramatic and emotional experience, but other women have found their ideal weight from much more ordinary strikes of inspiration.
Take 27-year-old Megan Pierce, who’s kept off 80 pounds for two years by becoming a runner. Suffering from exercise-induced asthma since childhood, the grad school student was far from being an athlete. For Pierce, the pivotal moment occurred when she visited the doctor for a cold and stepped on a scale.
“I weighed over 200 pounds for the first time ever, and for me, that was it,” she says.
By the time she had stepped off the scale, Pierce had already made a commitment to lose 30 pounds. She incented herself by swearing not to buy any new clothes until that weight had come off.
Like Arruda, Pierce joined a gym. She began by walking on a treadmill for 30-40 minutes, three days a week. Six months into her program, encouraged by her progress, Pierce decided to up the ante. She started jogging on the treadmill for as long as she could, just minutes to start, and then returned to walking.

I was always the kid who couldn’t run a mile in gym class,” she says. “So, for me, jogging was as much an experiment to see what my body could do as it was a mechanism to lose weight.”

Having small, measurable goals is another key element to lasting weight loss, says Scritchfield. If Pierce decided to lose 80 pounds right from the start, she would have had trouble staying motivated. The same applies to exercise. Walking on a treadmill for 30 minutes, three times a week, is a reasonable start for someone who’s been sedentary her entire life.
Similar to Arruda, Pierce made changes to her diet. She started by reducing processed foods, substituting a bag of baby carrots for crackers, for example. She also avoided fast foods and other convenience products. “I was commuting two to three hours a day for grad school, and I think my on-the-go eating habits really contributed to my weight getting so out of control,” Pierce says. She switched to eating her meals at home, including a hearty oatmeal breakfast, and brown bagging it.
It’s not a coincidence that both Arruda and Pierce achieved success with the combination of dietary changes and running. “Running and nutrition are very tightly connected in weight loss,” says Scritchfield. “One feeds the other.” Running releases a particularly large amount of serotonin, a happy hormone in the brain that makes you feel good and compels you to eat healthy. When you eat healthy, your energy level rises, motivating you to run. “People who diet without exercising don’t have this built-in motivation that comes from the serotonin,” says Scritchfield.
Shift in Attitude
When you’re under stress, at work or at home, your body increases its cortisol levels, a  fight-or-flight hormone that tells the body to store fat. By reducing stress, running works to turn off that message. Mary Carney was stressed at her job and feeling bad about her weight when her daughter Katie suggested running as a faster means than walking to lose  extra pounds. Similar to Arruda and Pierce, Carney eased into running by doing it for only one minute before returning to walking. When Katie suggested both of them run a 5k for breast cancer several months later, Carney reluctantly agreed, worried she would have to walk.

When I got there, I couldn’t believe the crowd of people,” she says. “I was not athletic as a child, and I got this adrenaline rush that I never expected.”

Carney ran the entire course. Hooked on the experience, she became a runner, entering local races, following a training plan, cleaning up her diet and losing 25 pounds. Running became her lifestyle. “It changed my attitude. It gave me a sense of accomplishment that spilled over into other areas of life like my job and marriage,” she says. “I just felt better about myself, more comfortable with myself.”
Carney experienced a change in the patterning of her subconscious mind, according to Tom Kersting, Ph.D, physiotherapist and author of “Losing Weight When Diets Fail.” Our culture generally views exercise as a torturous, time-consuming activity. When Carney realized that running could be fun and exhilarating, she overcame the final hurdle to achieving lifelong weight balance—she adopted exercise and nutrition as her lifestyle.
This is not an easy feat, Kersting says, adding that our predisposition to view exercise as unpleasant stems from the fact that so much in our culture has been oversimplified. A person can now hit a button and pay her bills or do her grocery shopping, for example. This oversimplification makes anything that requires effort, like exercise, seem even more challenging in comparison. “Our minds have become conditioned to simplicity in accomplishing things. So exercising, to someone who has been inactive her entire life, can seem like climbing Mt. Everest,” he says.
Carney, along with Aruba and Pierce, overcame this by taking baby steps. Running for just a few seconds or a few minutes to start. Their small, incremental success started to overcome their subconscious belief that exercise is drudgery. Once their minds shifted, they realized running was not only beneficial, but also enjoyable.
Arruda, Pierce and Carney eventually stopped trying to lose weight as they hit their ideal range. Then it was a matter of finding the right nutritional balance to feed their racing habit. “It was a strange moment when I realized I actually needed to eat more to have a better half marathon race result,” Pierce remembers. Arruda preps for long runs by adding a sweet potato to her dinner for extra calories, and Carney adjusts her portion sizes accordingly.
“The body will do its job, when given the right conditions to find its normal weight range,” says Scritchfield. These women all created sustainable conditions to enable their bodies to be their best.
“Anyone can do this,” Carney says. “You just have to decide you want to and incorporate it into your life.”

Exercising for 30-60 minutes, three to five days a week is a good beginner cardio program. Whether you’re running, walking or a combination of both, it should be a challenge, she says. Scritchfield also suggests strength training one to two days per week to build lean muscle mass. “Muscle is active tissue that’s burning calories and allows you to feel strong and empowered,” she says.

Above all, don’t get down on yourself. “We can be our worst critics and judges,” Scritchfield says. “In the beginning, your success is that you got dressed and got out there, because that’s already change.”
Jayme Otto runs and writes in Boulder, Colo., where she works as assistant editor at Elevation Outdoors. More at JaymeOtto.com.

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